Through the Years
by Dust motes in sunlight
Summary: Alina Knight never thought she would ever fall in love with her best friend. But when war threatens her peaceful life, she must come to terms with his choice to enlist and the consequences of that choice that will tear both of them apart and change their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

Alina stood in the study of her parent's house thumbing through one of her father's books. She smiled to herself as she put the book down on a small mahogany side table and looked out at the bustling foot traffic walking past the brown stone. She had just arrived back from a finishing school in Boston and after her talk with her parents she would be going into the city to meet with Bucky and Steve, her two best friends whom she had grown up with. The last time she had seen both of them together was very briefly at Steve's mother's funeral two years before. Now, it was 1943 and war had come to America. The smile fell from the petite redhead's face at the thought. Bucky had enlisted the summer before according to one of Steve's letters and now Rogers was trying his luck as many times as possible to try and enlist.

"Why does war and death appeal to men?" Alina sighed softly to herself as she pushed the net curtains back from the window and watched the bustling life outside. Her two best friends were adamant they were going to sacrifice themselves for their country and she knew that the possibility of one if not both of them not coming back was very real.

"Alina."

The sound of her mother's voice calling her pulled her from her morbid thoughts and she turned to smile as her mother and father stepped into the study.

"How was your trip home, dear?" the stern countenance of her mother didn't change and Alina bit back a retort along the lines of 'aren't you happy to see me mother?' as she hugged first the tall woman whose eyes, features and drawing ability she had inherited, and then the man whose dark red hair and freckles she had inherited.

"My trip was fine," she assured them.

"Good, good," her father nodded before excusing himself to draw into the farthest recesses of his study to continue on with some work.

Meanwhile, Alina followed her mother to the parlour where tea had been set out by their housekeeper. Once both women were seated and each had a delicate china teacup filled with steaming, fragrant tea and set in a matching saucer in their hands, Alina's mother, Edith, spoke again, "We are having a party on Saturday."

Alina smiled politely, "That sounds wonderful, mother."

But her mother wasn't listening, "Your father and I have decided to invite Christopher Matherson and his parents. We think the two of you would make a fine couple."

Alina's teacup froze half way to her lips, "What?" she asked on a gasp not quite able to get her head around what her mother had just said.

Her mother looked at her disapprovingly, "'What' is not polite, Alina. I would have thought that two years in an expensive finishing school had made you more refined, obviously I was wrong."

Alina put her teacup and saucer down on the coffee table in front of her tempted to smash it to spite the woman sitting opposite her, "You would think that finishing school would calm me down, but probably not when my own parents are in cahoots to try and marry me off like its 1843 instead of 1943. Well, I won't do it. You can invite whoever you want to this party but I'm bringing a friend and I will not let you marry me off." Getting up, Alina turned to leave the room, the full skirt of her soft yellow silk dress with black rose patterns swirling around her calves.

Her mother sighed, "If you insist on acting like a child just promise me you won't invite that Barnes boy. He's beneath us and you shouldn't be associating with him or his sickly friend."

Alina bit back an angry retort and left the house silently fuming, only remembering her black clutch purse, black pillbox hat, and dark green cropped cardigan just before she walked out of the front door.

She hailed a cab at the curb and gave the driver instructions to where she knew Bucky and Steve would be at one in the afternoon on a Saturday, "The picture theatre on Sixth and Lex, please." She said before sitting back and enjoying the ride into the city.

She bit her lip remembering the last time she had seen Steve and Bucky. She and Steve had parted on good terms and kept in touch over the two years she had been away, but it was the way she and Bucky had parted that had her nervous.

The three friends had gone to the Coney Island Amusement Park the weekend before she was to leave for Boston. After a long day of rides, amusement park food and a lot of fun, Bucky had walked over to a vender to buy the final round of candyfloss that Alina could not get enough of. While he was gone, she and Steve had been standing together, talking, only to be interrupted by a pair of rowdy men. They started yelling, picking on Steve until Alina told them to leave and then their attention turned to her in the form of flirting and ribald jokes. That's when Bucky had stepped in, threw an arm around Alina's shoulders and asked the men if they had a problem with his girlfriend and his best friend. The bullies turned and left with only a sneer and muttered curses. Alina had instantly stepped out of Bucky's embrace and declared she wanted to go home. Steve, knowing of her growing feelings for his best friend had only been able to send her a sympathetic look when Bucky had walked him to a cab and then 0ffered to share a cab with Alina to make sure she got home safely.

The ride in the cab had been silent until Bucky had made a comment about Alina not being able to take care of herself. To which the redhead lost her temper completely and choked out that she didn't need to be saved and that he should concentrate on his own life instead of hers.

The rest of the cab ride was deathly silent and emotionally charged. When the yellow cab had pulled up outside Alina's parents' brown stone, she had paid her fare and turned to leave the vehicle only to turn and glare at Bucky who was watching her cautiously, "I don't need to be saved." She told him again, emphatically, before taking a chance. Leaning into the space between them she fisted his tie and pulled him into a soft kiss that was her very first. She then pulled away and quickly left the cab, all but running up the stairs to her front door and into the house before she saw the disgust she had no doubt was on his face. The redhead didn't speak to him again and Steve was the only one at the station to see her off to Boston three days later.

Alina came out of the memory when she felt the cab stop.

The cabbie turned to her with a smile, "This'll be your stop, miss."

Paying him, Alina stepped out of the yellow vehicle and walked into the lobby of the newest picture theatre in Bucky and Steve's Brooklyn neighbourhood. She held her head high and went to the see how long was left of the newest action film. The cashier checked his watch and told her that the film should be over in about five minutes.

Thanking him she paid for a small box of Milk Duds and slipped it into her purse before using the restroom quickly to check her makeup and then she walked out into the lobby to sit and wait for the audience to exit the film while she ate her sweets and drew in the small notebook she always carried with her.

When the cinema doors opened she stood up and searched the faces of the leaving patrons for her friends. She caught sight of Steve first. Even with his small stature she could always pick him out of a crowd because of his open, kind face. He waved when he saw her. And then her heart stuttered in her chest at the sight of the tall man beside him. In the two years she had been gone, Bucky had changed; his hair was shorter on the sides, he was clean shaven, dressed in slacks, a tie and a brown blazer. He looked more mature, even held himself differently. Gone was the cocky twenty-four year old with no direction in life and not a care in the world. In his place stood a man of twenty-six who knew who he was and what he was going to do. A thrill went through her when his shocking blue gaze caught her grey eyes. With a motion to her to get Steve's attention, the two men made their way toward her.

"Alina? I didn't know you were back." Steve said with an ecstatic smile as soon as he and Bucky were close enough.

The beautiful redhead smiled as she hugged him, her two inch heels giving her the extra height to make her equal with him. When they separated she looked up at Bucky shyly not knowing what to expect. They watched each other for a moment before she was enveloped in a warm hug, his strong arms and scent wrapping around her. The rough material of his jacket rubbed against her cheek and she had to fight back tears at the feel of him holding her for a few moments more than necessary.

When the two stepped apart Steve smiled hugely. "Want to go get a soda at the Shoppe across the street?" he asked her. "I'll buy you a chocolate malt."

Alina returned his smile gratefully, "That sounds wonderful, Steve," she looked up at Bucky, "What about you, Serge? Are you coming too?"

Bucky smiled the goofy smile she had fallen for years before, "A soda sounds great," he offered his arm to Alina and the trio made their way out of the theatre and onto the curb outside, "Then you can tell us all about your time in a finishing school." He screwed up his face, "On second thought, I don't know if I want to hear about finishing school."

Alina shared a shake of the head with Steve before looking up at Bucky once more, "You might like to go there one day, it'll probably instil some manners in you."

"Hasn't seemed to help you," Bucky teased as Steve held the door of the Malt Shoppe open for the three to walk in.

"Go find a table." Steve told them before going off to order three chocolate malts.

Bucky pulled the chair out for her when they found a small table near the door of the busy shop.

"How have you been?" Alina asked him when he folded his tall frame into the small chair opposite her, "Really," She added knowing he would sugar-coat anything and everything to protect her if he felt he needed to.

Flashing that grin at her again, Bucky lounged a little in the chair and studied her for a moment. Patting self-consciously at her curled hair and pinned black hat, she blushed prettily.

"What?" she asked narrowing her eyes at him.

Bucky smiled, shaking his head, "You haven't changed in two years. How's that possible, Lina?"

The sound of the nickname only he used slipping so easily from his lips had Alina blushing furiously, "I have changed, you'll see. And when you do nothing's going to be the same." She said sadly.

Bucky sat up and leant forward, elbow on the table, "Not happening, Lina," he told her firmly. "I won't let it."

She looked up at him from under her eyelashes, "Promise?"

He looked her right in the eye and nodded, "I swear, Lina."

She nodded and the moment passed. Steve came back with a server in tow, their drinks on her tray. She smiled seductively at Bucky as she set down the malt in front of him and then sashayed away.

Steve raised his eyebrows at that, "How do you do that?" he asked his best friend.

"What?" Bucky asked oblivious as he stirred his drink before taking a sip.

Alina laughed, "Don't try and act all innocent, we both know that you know what we're talking about."

Bucky only shrugged, grinned crookedly and then launched into a list of questions about Alina's time away including if she had seen a game at Fenway Park.

This question brought on a disbelieving discussion from Steve about her being at finishing school, not on vacation. Soon all Alina had to do was sit back, drink her malt, and listen to her two best friends bicker.

Half an hour or so later, Steve begged off, saying that he had picked up an extra shift at the bank till where he worked. Hugging Alina once more he left the Malt Shoppe.

Bucky suggested a walk to the park a few blocks over and Alina agreed not ready to go home just yet. And so she found herself on Bucky's arm walking around the park in the warmth of the two o'clock sun.

"So you're saying you never saw a game at Fenway?" the dark haired man at her side asked.

Alina laughed and shook her head, "Of course not. Proper young ladies don't go and sit in the stands of a baseball stadium and scream for their favourite team." She intoned mimicking the tone and inflections of her mother.

Bucky faked a shudder. "Promise me you won't do that again," he muttered leading them over to a park bench to sit down.

Alina grinned and dug her half-finished box of milk duds out of her purse.

"How do you eat so many sweets?" Bucky asked her declining the offered treat.

The redhead tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and shrugged, totally relaxed, "I don't know. How do you drink so much soda?" she asked knowing of his weakness for the fizzy drink.

Bucky leaned back on the bench and stretched his arm along the back of the bench, his fingers absently playing with one of Alina's curls, "Fair enough, you win." He smiled down at her before his face became serious, "About the last time we saw each other…"

Alina was shaking her head before he had even finished, "Can we just forget that? I was angry and said and did some really stupid things. I don't want to lose our friendship over something like that." She looked at him pleadingly.

"Yeah," he said a little reluctantly before lightening the mood with a joke, "You did flip your wig."

Alina blushed again and smacked his arm before smiling herself. They laughed together and she relaxed beside him, her milk dud packet and purse between them on the seat and Bucky's fingers still gently playing with her hair. In the silence she took out her sketch book and continued on with a drawing she had started a few days before.

"You gonna show me that or what?" Bucky asked a few minutes later.

She looked over at him and handed over the small book. He took a few moments to study the sketches inside.

"These are really great, Lina," he told her. "Think you could do one for me in my uniform for my Ma?"

She nodded before asking, "Are you on active duty yet?" At the sly look on his face she backtracked quickly blushing furiously for the second time that day, "I-I didn't mean…Oh god." She buried her face in her hands no doubt smudging her makeup but after that little slip up she didn't really care.

"Lina," Bucky laughed trying to get her to look at him again, "Lina, its fine. I know what you meant."

"Yeah, so the look you just gave me wasn't cheeky?" she asked her voice muffled by her hands.

Bucky's voice became firm, "Alina. It's fine."

She looked up at him and took a breath before asking the question again, "Do you know when you'll be called for active duty?"

His vibrant blue eyes were messing up her thoughts again but she managed to catch his answer, "Not sure. Probably any day now if the reports from the front are true," his tone was careful and she knew he was protecting her again.

Looking down at her clasped hands sitting in her lap, she tried to memorize the feeling of him so close to her, the sound of his breathing, the feel of his fingers in the curl he was still playing with, and the scent of him that would swirl around her every once in a while when the breeze slipped by them, "I told you that you don't have to protect me, Bucky. I can cope with whatever you know."

His thumb and forefinger caught her chin and he lifted her face so that she was looking at him once again, "What if I want to protect you from it?" he asked his voice controlled as if he was holding something back.

Searching his face, Alina bit her lip somehow drawing his gaze to her mouth, "My parents are having a party in a few days." She blurted out.

He looked confused for a moment before he smiled and let go of her chin. "Sounds boring," he told her.

Alina huffed, "They're inviting this completely boring boy and his family to it so that we can meet and hopefully get married in the future." She sighed. "I said I was bringing a friend and if you're that adamant about protecting me do you want to be my date and save me from this boy?" she blurted the last sentence so that she wouldn't chicken out and not ask him.

Bucky sat still for a few moments before he asked, "Do I have to wear a suit?"

Alina grimaced, "Probably. There was a terrible gold and bronze gown hanging in my room when I arrived today so I would say a suit is preferable."

He looked to be contemplating the prospect for a second before a smile spread across his lips, "Sounds good."

Alina breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Bucky." She told him.

He shrugged before standing up, "Let's get you home before your Mother thinks I'm more of a bad influence than she already does."

Packing up her sweets and notebook, the tiny redhead grinned, "That'd be hard to do, you're already the worst influence in the world."

With a cocky smirk, Bucky offered his arm to her once more, "I'll just have to change her opinion of me at this fancy party of yours then, won't I?"

Alina smiled up at him enjoying the easy way they had fallen back into their teasing, "I would love to see that."


	2. Chapter 2

The day of the party dawned faster than Alina would have liked.

She spent the morning and afternoon with her mother helping with the preparations before slipping away to her room to get ready. She curled her hair leaving it in gentle waves down her back before applying her makeup, pulling on her dress and shoes and then the jewellery her mother had left out for her to wear. The dress was gold crepe under a rust coloured over-skirt of chiffon, open at the front and draped around the bust area, a belt of rust coloured silk ribbon around the waist and as a halter. Her shoes were gold T-bar peep-toes with two inch heels. The necklace her mother had chosen for her was made of carnelian stones interspersed with deep red zircon stones in a collar that felt like it was choking her even at its loosest. Her mother had also provided a gold cuff with Roman scrolling work and etching on it.

Finally dressed, she left her room as the guests started to arrive, and found Bucky at the foot of the stairs waiting for her. She smiled up at him when she got to his side.

"You know, that dress isn't half as awful as you said it was," he told her with a crooked grin.

Alina shook her head, "You're just saying that. It's orange for goodness sake," she muttered softly so that only he could hear as she took his arm and he led her into the sitting room where the other guests were mingling.

Ignoring her mother's thinly veiled disappointed looks, the two friends walked around the room greeting guests but never straying too far from one another, and as soon as the Mathersons walked into the room, Bucky excused himself from the conversation he had been drawn into on the merits of war by her father and a friend and moved to Alina's side, his hand coming up to press to the small of her back.

"That him?" he asked seeing the slight panic on her face.

She nodded studying Christopher. He was slightly taller than Bucky, about six foot if not a little more, blond hair parted neatly to the side, light blue eyes and dressed in the latest fashion, he would be a man any girl her age would love to have but for Alina he just wasn't Bucky.

"Looks like a-," Bucky started.

"Alina!" her mother called from the other side of the room, interrupting whatever insult Bucky was about to throw out.

Shrinking back against his side, the small redhead bit her lip only to have him bend down and whisper in her ear, "Go on. I'll save you if he gets down on one knee and proposes right here."

She cut her eyes at him, "Don't even joke about that, Serge," she hissed trying to ignore the goose-bumps that spread across her skin at the feel of his warm breath brushing against her ear and neck before she squared her shoulders, stood as tall as her five-two frame would allow, and strode gracefully over to be introduced to the Mathersons by her mother.

He was as boring and self-absorbed as she feared. Forced to sit beside him at dinner and as far away from Bucky as her mother could physically organise, Alina had to sit through his many narcissistic stories and his complete disregard for anyone of a lower social standing. The final straw for Bucky came when, as the party was sitting around the living room with after dinner drinks, Christopher made a joke about the lower class in Brooklyn enjoying their living conditions because they knew no better. Even Alina's father looked shocked at the comment and Bucky stood up and excused himself, no doubt to have a sneaky cigarette out on the front steps, a stress-relief habit Alina remembered he had taken up when he left school to go to work after his father's death.

"Can I talk to you?" Alina tore her gaze from Bucky's retreating form to the handsome but obnoxious man sitting beside her, "Preferably alone," he added.

"Of course," Edith nodded from her seat next to the couple before ushering both young people into the dining room across the hall.

Alina braced herself for whatever was to come next as her mother closed the door to give them privacy. The older woman was no doubt listening on the other side, however.

She turned to the blond man expecting another barrage of egotistical stories only to freeze as he pulled out a small velvet box and opened it to reveal a large diamond ring sitting in the silk interior. It looked like an eye with a large diamond in the middle, a small diamond on either side, and a curved line of small diamonds above and below the middle row. It was all set in what she could only guess was platinum. Her whole body was unresponsive as the tall man in front of her pulled the ring out of the box, caught her left hand and slid the heavy piece of jewellery onto her ring finger. He then launched into another monologue but this time she didn't even pretend to listen, instead she imagined her life with him: it would be safe, no knowledge of the harsh world outside, and she would never want for anything. Except love.

"…and you should see this as the amazing prospect it is. After all, I'm probably your only choice," he was saying.

"What?" Alina breathed, or tried to, her lungs felt as if they were being squeezed by her ribcage.

Christopher looked put out that she hadn't been listening, "You could use some manners." He muttered.

Alina stepped back from him, pulling her hand from his, anger starting to bubble up in her chest, "You insult my friend, you know nothing of the world and yet you think you can grandstand, you push a ring onto my finger without a proposal and think I'll say yes, and you say I need manners!" she gasped out her lungs still not working right in her chest. Lifting her chin she glared at him, "Find another girl to marry." She snapped before turning on her heel and pulling the door open.

Her mother stumbled back from where she had been listening in to the conversation, "Alina!" she snapped her face turning a horrible pink shade in anger.

"No, mother," Alina said her voice calmer than she would have thought possible, "I would rather take my chances out in the city, alone, than marry him." She ripped the ring from her finger, grabbed her mother's hand, turned it palm-up and dropped the heavy thing into her hand. Closing her mother's long fingers around it she looked up with tear-filled eyes, "If you loved me you wouldn't want me to marry someone like him." She whispered so that only the other woman could hear. Turning on her heel, the small redhead gathered up her skirts and all but ran to the front door, her mother on her heels.

Bucky was just coming back inside. Alina grabbed his hand and pulled him along behind her as her mother called for her to stop. Bucky must have turned back and seen her mother waving the engagement ring because he swore quickly and then laced his fingers with Alina's taking the lead out of the house.

Once outside they stopped on the sidewalk, "Take me away from here, Bucky." Alina whispered tearfully her head pounding with what had just happened.

Grim-faced, her friend nodded and lead her away from the house. They walked for a few yards before Alina realised she was gasping for breath. Bucky heard her and turned, alarmed.

"Hey, hey." He said catching her by the shoulders, "Breathe, Lina."

She shook her head, tears sliding fast and thick down her cheeks, "They don't even care that he wouldn't love me," She gasped out her lungs tightening inside her once again.

Bucky's face hardened and he pulled her into an alleyway between two brown stones. Before Alina could say anything else, he had her pressed up against the alley wall, his arm around her waist and one hand cradling her cheek, his lips pressed to hers and she melted against him.

He tasted of cigarette smoke, the brandy he had been sipping with her father before he left the house, and of her salty tears. Slowly he broke the kiss, pulling away until only his forehead was resting against hers. She opened her eyes hesitantly scared that at any moment he was going to pull away and leave her like he had done two years before.

The tension between them broke at his next words, "Hi sugar, are you rationed?"

She smiled and then giggled, cupping his face in her hands as she looked up into his sharp gaze, "I'm not sure. What do you say, Serge?"

Bucky smirked, "You better be or I'm gonna have to start punching in some teeth."

Alina's smile faded slowly, "I can't go back, Bucky. She was just going to let him put a ring on my finger and claim me after meeting me just once." Shivering she shook her head, tears filling her eyes once more.

"Then don't go back. Steve's got an extra room." He said unbuttoning his jacket, shrugging out of it and wrapping it around her shoulders.

She thanked him quietly before giving him a look, "Board with Steve? Do want me to be the talk of New York?" she pressed her cheek to his shoulder, snuggling into him needing the comfort and warmth he provided.

Bucky wrapped his arms around the small woman that fit against him so perfectly and revised his idea, "Then I'll board with Steve and you can have my room at Ma's. She's been saying she hasn't seen you in years."

Alina lifted her gaze to his amazed that he would even want her to think about leaving her family, "But what about my parents?"

Bucky looked stern, "They wanted to force you into marrying some lounge lizard and you want to go back there?"

Blushing at his name for Christopher she looked away from his heated gaze, "He's not like that. He said he was probably my only choice and…" her words were cut off by Bucky's lips against hers. This kiss was a little harsher and she could tell he was angry.

When he pulled back they were both breathing hard, "Damn, I'm gonna knock his teeth in. He's all wet." He declared before running his hand through her curls, "Doesn't he know what kind of a dame my girl is?"

Sighing happily Alina wrapped her hand around his wrist keeping his fingers in her hair as long as possible. "Doesn't matter," she murmured feeling tipsy from his few kisses and the touch of his hand in her hair, "Just kiss me again."

Bucky was happy to oblige. They broke apart a few minutes later and he led her by the hand out to the sidewalk to hail a cab.

The rest of the night went quickly with a visit to his mother's house to set her up in his bedroom, a change of clothes from Bucky's sister and a call to Steve to let him know that if he wanted Bucky was going to be living with him for the foreseeable future because Alina had left home. Steve had come over as soon as Bucky had explained and listened wide-eyed to Alina's recount of the night before he had declared that his best friend better take care of her or he'd have him to answer to. Bucky had been surprised that Steve had known before he had told him but the smaller man had just grinned, tapped the side of his nose and told Alina good night. Bucky had quickly grabbed a few changes of clothes and anything else he might need before kissing Alina goodnight and following Steve out into the night to catch a cab to his friend's apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

Alina slept well for the first time in a long time, waking up refreshed and smiling. Bucky's younger sisters and brother were all excited to see her and tried to skive off school on the excuse that it was her first day as their new honorary sister. Their mother, however, made sure they were all out the door in time to walk to school and then set about cleaning the house with Alina's help.

She quickly became a part of his family and easily slipped into his life in her new role as his steady girlfriend. They went out on dates and with groups of their friends but they always spent time with Steve, the three of them getting along easily even though she and Bucky were an item.

A few months later Bucky got to his mother's house after a week away at an army training camp outside the city he leaned in the doorway of the sitting room and watched Alina bent over the torn skirt of his youngest sister, placing neat precise stitches into the material.

"They taught you that in finishing school, didn't they?"

Alina glanced up at him with a smile before going back to her work, "No, my nanny taught me this when I was little. Finishing school only taught me how to sit like a lady and look down my nose at others."

"Sounds useful." The tall man said entering the room fully to hunker down in front of the small redhead, his hands on the arms rests of the wingchair she had chosen to sit in.

"Mm-hm," she nodded, tying off the end of her last stitch and snipping off the extra cotton with the small pair of silver sewing scissors in her lap. The task finished she leant over the edge of the chair to put the scissors into his mother's sewing kit only to have him catch her wrist as she slipped her hand from the carpet bag. Her grey-blue eyes flew to his and he looked at her with something close to worry and something she hadn't seen from him since his father's death, fear.

"What's wrong?" she asked worried.

Bucky took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his nose as he leaned into her, pressing his forehead to hers, "Marry me," he said after a few moments sitting like that.

Alina stiffened and pulled away, "What?"

A quick grin split his face at her response that was so typically her before he cupped her cheek, his fingers sliding into her loose curls, "They told us today that in the next few months we're gonna ship out. I don't know exactly when but I know that I want you to be my wife before I go," his eyes searched her face trying to see what her response would be.

Alina forced back tears as the news of his impending departure to the front line washed over her, "Bucky," she whispered, wrapping her hand around his wrist and leaning her forehead against his, eyes closed. She was silent for what felt like forever to him before she whispered her answer, "Yes."

He tensed for a beat before he pulled her into his arms, his mouth slanting over hers, his kiss stealing her breath. When he pulled back it was to see tears in her eyes, "What's this, Lina sweetheart, crying for your soldier?" he murmured tucking some of her hair back behind her ear.

She shook her head, "You have to promise me you'll come back. I don't think I'd be able to survive it if you didn't."

"I'd be stupid not to come back for you, doll." He grinned playfully. He pulled her to her feet and led her over to the couch, pulling her down to sit curled into his side he tucked her head beneath his chin and wrapped his arms around her, "I don't have a ring for you yet," he admitted a little annoyed at himself.

"I don't need a ring, Bucky," she told him.

He sighed, "You deserve one, though, Lina."

She pulled back to look up at him, "Oh, what a line, Serge. I bet you say that to all the girls," she grinned before curling into him again knowing he was going to get her a ring whether she thought she needed one or not, he was stubborn like that.

"When do you want to get married?" he asked after they had been sitting quietly for a while.

Alina smiled, "As soon as possible," she told him.

"Next week sound good, doll?" he asked a smile in his voice.

She once again pushed back to look at him only to see him serious even in his teasing. "Really?" she asked.

"Really."

A wide smile spread across her face and she leaned up and kissed him, the first time she had ever initiated a kiss and he seemed to like it. But she was too excited to stay still. Getting up she moved to the door.

"Hey, where are you off to? I thought we were enjoying some peace and quiet before the monsters get back from school," Bucky pouted on the couch.

Alina smiled and turned to look at him, "I can't sit there all afternoon no matter how much I want to, there's so much to get organised and I need to get my dress and sort out who my maid of honour will be," she did a small spin her hands clasped in front of her and a radiant smile on her face, "I love you." She told him.

Bucky grinned from where he was lounging on the couch watching his girl smile more than he had ever seen, "Love you too, Lina," he told her before she skipped over to him, pressed a kiss to his mouth and then rushed out of the room to find his mother and start organising the wedding.

Bucky was reluctantly dragged into the preparations and decided on Steve as his best man. Alina chose the oldest of Bucky's two younger sisters to be her maid of honour with his mother signing as a witness with Steve and his youngest sister and little brother as flower girl and page boy respectively. The church and church hall near them was booked with the wedding moved back by only a week because of availability. The hall was decorated in blue the colour of Bucky's eyes (although Alina would never tell anyone that this was the reason that shade of blue was her favourite), and the dresses of the maid of honour and flower girl were made in the same colour. Friends and family brought food for the reception and Alina's parents both turned up on the day with her father walking her down the aisle and her mother being at least cordial to everyone.

Alina's dress was made of white satin, with a tie neck, short sleeves, and a hemline that ended mid-calf. Her fascinator was of blue silk crisscrossed over the top of her head with a white silk rose over her right ear and a blue netting veil, it was a gift from her soon to be mother-in-law and had been worn by Bucky's mother for her own wedding. She wore white leather oxfords with silk ribbons instead of laces, a gift from her parents; as was the nightdress she would wear on her wedding night.

Bucky grinned from the end of the aisle at her as she walked toward him, her father cried as he gave her away, and Alina had to fight back happy tears at the sight of the two rings the pastor blessed before he gave them over to Bucky to slip onto her ring finger. Her new husband had bought not only a rose gold wedding band etched with small flowers, but also an engagement ring in yellow gold set with five small round diamonds.

"You may kiss your bride," the pastor intoned after the vows were said and the registry signed.

Bucky pulled Alina against his chest and kissed her for all he was worth. The sound of applause broke them apart and Alina blushed prettily as she smiled up at her new husband. The reception seemed to fly by with congratulations and laughter ringing through the church hall. Alina was just happy her mother seemed to welcome Bucky. The tall, graceful woman looked to be mollified by the way her new son-in-law treated her only child and the way his family had included her daughter as their own kin.

Before she knew it, Alina was getting into a car with Bucky and they were off to a surprise location only he knew. The car pulled up outside a small apartment building a few blocks from Steve's neighbourhood. She looked up at the building as Bucky parked next to the sidewalk and then they got out of the car and walked into the large apartment block.

"Why are we here, Bucky?" she asked him softly, her hand held in one of his with their bags in his other hand.

He grinned at her over his shoulder before stopping outside the second door on the first floor. Dropping her hand he pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the front door. He then ushered her inside and closed the door behind them, flicking on the light switch beside the door. "Welcome to your new home, Mrs. Barnes," he murmured in her ear before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She turned to him with an excited smile, "This is really our new home?"

He put their bags down and held out a hand to her, "Want to go check it out?"

With an ecstatic laugh, Alina grabbed his hand and let him lead her further into their apartment. It was fully furnished and set up, "Who…?" she asked turning to look at Bucky.

"Who do you think, Lina? Your parents wanted to try and make up for things. They furnished it but we own the deed," he stepped closer to her and murmured, "Welcome home, Mrs Barnes."

Alina smiled softly and pushed up onto tip-toe, wrapping her arms around her husband's shoulders before pressing her lips to his.

Bucky kissed her gently before pulling back briefly and then slanting his mouth over hers. He had put their bags in the master bedroom half way through their tour and now he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. She broke the kiss with a small laugh before letting him capture her lips again. A few minutes later he led her into their room. Alina changed into the nightdress her mother had bought her in the en suit while Bucky took off his suit in the bedroom.

The nightgown was made of delicate chiffon that reached her ankles. It was belted at the waist by a pale pink ribbon and the straps were of the same colour ribbon. The bodice looked to be almost made of lace.

Nervously, the small redhead pulled the pins from her hair and washed her makeup off. Once she was ready she took a breath, her hand on the handle of the bathroom door, before she twisted it and pushed the door open, stepping into the next room where Bucky stood waiting for her.


	4. Chapter 4

Alina woke up curled into Bucky's side, her back against his ribs, her head pillowed by his arm. She smiled feeling his fingers brush over her shoulder pulling the strap of her nightgown down.

"Morning," she murmured closing her eyes again to enjoy the peace surrounding them. Here, with him now, she could almost forget about the war raging in the outside world that threatened to take the man she loved from her.

Bucky's lips pressed to her shoulder and her smile grew, "Morning, sweetheart." He said his voice still a little gruff from sleep.

Rolling so that she was facing him, the petite redhead watched as he propped his head up on one hand, his elbow putting a dent in the pillow under it. She reached out and traced his perfectly bowed lips that turned up a little at the corners unless he was really angry. "What do you feel like for breakfast?" she asked him softly while he dropped small kisses to the tips of her fingers.

"Mm…pancakes," he kissed her palm, "Bacon," his mouth pressed to her forearm, "Scrambled eggs," he kissed her shoulder, "And black coffee," was his final request before his mouth caught hers in a fiery kiss that sent delicious shivers down her spine.

Their kissing was interrupted by his loudly protesting stomach. Alina giggled and then kissed him once more, pulling away before he could deepen it, "Nap for a while then go shower while I make us some breakfast," she told him slipping from the bed and padding to their bags to pull out underwear, a pink short-sleeve dress with black buttons down the front, black piping at the neckline and cuffs, and a pink belt at the waist, as well as flat black house shoes with flowers embroidered on them. She slipped into the bathroom and showered, before gathering her damp hair into a bun on top of her head and dressing quickly.

She woke Bucky with a soft kiss to the cheek when she left the bathroom, "Shower's free," she told him with a grin sidestepping his hand as he made to grab her hip and pull her down into the bed again. She then left him to get up and ready.

In the kitchen she found a navy apron with a pattern of small light blue flowers scattered over it and light blue accents on the pockets, waist-line and around the bottom of the skirt. She then set to work.

Finishing up the cooking a few minutes later she started on the dishes, she felt strong arms encircle her waist and Bucky step up behind her, his lips finding the side of her neck. Up to her elbows in hot soapy water she could only lean back against him with a small sigh. "I thought you were hungry." She murmured with a smile.

He grunted noncommittally before turning her to face him. With a gasp she held her hands away from his white undershirt clad chest, "My hands are wet." She scolded only to have him grin and move her to the bench next to the sink. He then lifted her up onto it and stepped between her knees.

A pretty blush coloured her cheeks at his intense look, "I love you, Alina." He murmured before sealing his words with a heart-pounding kiss.

"Our food's going to be cold," she panted when he moved to nuzzling her throat and unbuttoning her dress.

"Always enjoyed cold pancakes," he quipped with a sly smirk and before his little wife could comment he covered her mouth with his.

Their first breakfast together as a married couple turned out to be cold pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs with strong but lukewarm coffee on the side, and the both of them couldn't think of a better way to start their life together.

* * *

><p>With the war drawing ever closer Bucky made sure he spent as much time with Alina as possible.<p>

And so, on a Saturday two weeks after their wedding, Alina was woken up early by her husband's lips against hers.

"Mm. What's wrong?" she murmured groggily.

Bucky ran his fingers down her sides and she twisted away from him before turning onto her stomach and grabbing his pillow to hug, "Wake up, Lina." He growled playfully in her ear.

She just buried her head deeper into the pillow and whined, "Its Saturday, Serge, don't have to get up early."

Bucky sighed and sat on the bed his back to the headboard, legs crossed at the ankle and hands laced over his stomach, "Huh, I suppose you don't want to go to the beach with me then."

There was about a three second silence before Alina rolled over and squinted up at him, "Really?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, "Yup. Thought me and my dame could pack a picnic and go swimming and everything."

Straight faced Alina propped herself up on one elbow and looked up at him, "So who's this dame then?" she asked.

Bucky's blue gaze shot to her before he rolled his eyes and got off the bed, "Get up before I drag you out of bed myself, Lina." He shook his head.

She looked up at him innocently, "What if that's exactly what I want you to do, Serge?"

Bucky leaned in the doorway and smirked, "Too bad, little girl. Get up and get ready. Picnic's packed and I'm leaving in twenty minutes with or without you." With that said he turned and left the bedroom.

Needless to say, Alina was ready in fifteen minutes.

A smile that couldn't be wiped from her face graced Alina's lips as she sat in the car beside Bucky as he drove to Manhattan Beach. Once there the couple parked the car and got out. With Bucky carrying the picnic basket and Alina carrying a blanket, the two walked down the beach to an empty spot of sand. Alina lay the blanket down and then stepped out of the white lace-up shoes she had worn, stripped off the white ruffled sleeveless blouse and loose red shorts she had dressed in before they left, leaving her in her aqua silky two-piece swimsuit with ties at the hip and between the cups of her swimsuit halter top.

Bucky's eyes had followed all her movements from the moment she had stepped out of her shoes. "You trying to give me a heart attack, Lina?" he asked his gaze moving over her appreciatively.

The small redhead laughed, "I wasn't trying to do anything, Serge. You're the one that said I had twenty minutes to get dressed, if you hadn't wanted me to wear this you should have given me more time to dress."

Bucky stood up as she grinned. Shucking his loose shirt he tensed and Alina had only a moment to spin and run away from him down toward the water before he was hot on her heels, racing after her.

Her feet hit the water a moment before Bucky caught her up in his arms and turned, falling backward so that he hit the shallows and went under before her.

They came up laughing and splashing and swam for a while before going back up to their picnic basket and blanket for lunch.

After lunch Bucky lay back soaking up the sun as Alina sketched the beachgoers around them. One in particular caught her eye, a little girl in a yellow and red polka-dot swim suit who looked to be only about two or three years old. Her dark hair was pulled up on either side of her head in little ponytails. She was running around picking shells up off the beach and running back to her father and mother to show them off. But it was something about how she acted that had Alina fantasizing about what she and Bucky's children would look like if they ever had the opportunity to have them.

"We could try for a baby until I leave for duty," Bucky's voice pulled her from her thoughts as he moved to sit behind her, his legs on either side of hers and his lips pressing to her shoulder before he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Alina shook her head, "I want a baby, Bucky. Your baby. But I can't bring a child into this world while their daddy is off fighting a war on the other side of the world." She turned to look at him, "If anything were to happen to you, that little baby wouldn't know its father," she put her hand to his cheek, "And that's the cruellest thing in the world."

Bucky sighed pressing his forehead to hers and closing his eyes, "I'm hurting you, aren't I?" he asked softly.

Alina felt tears building in her eyes at the pain she heard in his voice but she couldn't deny that thinking of him going to war and possibly not coming back didn't hurt. And so she pressed a soft kiss to his lips and then pulled away so that he would look at her, the deep, intense blue of his eyes thrilling her as much as it had the first time she had realised she was falling for him. "Let's go for another swim and then head home, I would like a nap before I start on dinner."

Bucky's eyes searched hers before he nodded, running his fingers through the silky strands of her hair, "I love you, Lina." He murmured softly stealing another kiss.

She smiled at him, "I love you too, James Buchanan Barnes, and I always will."


	5. Chapter 5

The next Monday Alina got up before Bucky. They had talked about her finding a job that weekend while on their picnic and Bucky had agreed that if that was what Alina wanted then she should find a job. And she had; a secretary position within a registry office for the US Army. Her interview was at nine that morning and if she got the job she would be secretary to the head of the registry officer. Bucky was off to work as well, he was taking any extra shifts that he could at the nearest munitions factory so that Alina would have some money saved for when he was called to duty. They ate breakfast quickly and then parted ways with a quick kiss when Bucky dropped Alina off outside the registry office.

She walked inside to see that there was already a group of three other women waiting in the lobby for an interview as well. Giving her name to the man at the front desk, Alina took a seat next to a beautiful blonde woman who introduced herself as Lorraine. Her perfectly coifed hair, beautifully tailored, fashionable clothes and flawless makeup had Alina feeling a little inadequate. They chatted for a while about inconsequential things like the weather and the latest trends of tighter, shorter skirts because of the material ration. Lorraine soon mentioned Alina's rings and asked if her husband was going to fight.

With a smile masking the panic that always flared whenever she thought of Bucky going away to fight, Alina nodded. "Yes, he's a Sergeant. He hasn't been called up for duty yet but I suppose with the war as it is he will be soon."

Lorraine nodded, "Well, he's doing his country proud."

Suddenly feeling like she was drowning, Alina excused herself and stepped outside the building for a few minutes to catch her breath. When she returned, a tall thin man with gold wire-rimmed glasses stepped out of the office and called her name. She then followed him into the recesses of the building.

He led her into an office decorated in browns and beige and motioned for her to sit in one of the two chairs in front of his desk.

"Miss…Barnes," he took a moment to find her name on the resume in his hand.

"Mrs Barnes," she corrected gently earning a hard look from him over his glasses.

"Mrs Barnes," he started again, "What makes you think you deserve to be chosen over the other candidates for this job?" his hard stare unnerved her but she lifted her chin and answered truthfully.

"I take instruction well, Mr. Cummings. I work quickly and efficiently and do everything to the best of my ability." She laced her fingers together in her lap, "I will always be on time and I don't slack off on any job," she looked right at him, "I don't know about your other candidates but I will make sure to uphold the good reputation of this office and everyone in it."

The lanky man sat back in his chair and steepled his fingers, studying her in silence for what felt like forever. And then he sat forward, shuffled some papers on his desk and dismissed her to wait out with the others.

Trying her hardest not to cry, Alina walked back out to the lobby as Lorraine followed Cummings past her and into the office. Another hour later, all the candidates had been interviewed and they were now all waiting to hear of Mr. Cumming's decision. The thin man stepped out of his office to have four pairs of eyes shoot to him, he lifted his clip board and read off two women's names, "Miss Hirsh and Mrs Wellston, you may go." When the two women had left the lobby Cummings turned to Lorraine and Alina, "Could you both follow me?"

Getting up the two women trailed behind him to his office and sat down in the chairs opposite his desk once more. Alina smoothed down her long red jacket and black pencil skirt with coloured flowers over it and hoped that her keyhole white sweater blouse, brown feathered pillbox hat, brown and white sling back high heels and white clutch wouldn't look too plain beside Lorraine's emerald green skirt suit, matching hat and black shined oxfords.

"Congratulations." Cummings nodded a small smile curling the corners of his lips, "Because of your good interviews and the calibre of your résumés, I have selected both of you as my personal secretaries. There will be enough work for the both of you to work full hours here. If you cannot manage five days a week from nine to five I suggest you inform me now."

Both women shook their heads, Alina with a happy smile curving her lips while Lorraine's looked decidedly slyer.

"I should also inform you the Colonel Phillips of the 107th is looking for a secretary as well and that in the next few months I will be recommending one of you for that position." Cummings added. "You will be starting tomorrow at nine. However, for the rest of this afternoon I will have on of the other women show you around and explain your duties."

His piece said he dismissed them both. But before she left, Alina turned and smiled up at him, "Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Cummings." She said offering him her hand.

He nodded, "I would prefer that you address me as sir at all times, it makes for a faster address." But he smiled a little to soften the otherwise terse words.

Alina smiled again and then followed Lorraine out to be met by one of the other women working for Cummings. The rest of the day was spent learning the ropes and listening to the other woman's instructions about what they were to do at the office. At five she and Lorraine walked out of the office building and onto the bustling curb outside. Alina buttoned her jacket and let her eyes wander over the crowd looking for Bucky.

"Is someone coming to pick you up or are you walking home?" she asked Lorraine a little worried that the woman would have to walk home alone.

"Oh, I'll catch a cab home. What about you?" the blonde asked looking down at her.

Alina opened her mouth to answer only to have a hand press to the small of her back, "Hey, Lina. Sorry I'm late," Bucky said pressing a kiss to her temple.

She turned with a smile and slipped her hand into his before introducing him to Lorraine, "Bucky, this is Lorraine. We were both chosen for the job. Lorraine, this is my husband, Bucky."

He grinned and held out his hand to the smirking blonde. "Alina told me she was married but she honestly didn't say how lucky she was to bag a man like you."

Alina blushed, trying to force down the jealous feeling bubbling away in her stomach at the sight of Bucky smiling at such a beautiful woman.

"I think it's the other way round, Ma'am." Bucky quipped before making their excuses and leading Alina around the block to where he parked his car. "She seems nice," he commented.

Alina leaned into his side, "I think so." She bit her lip and kept her eyes on the ground under her feet, "Do you ever wish…" she cut off and shook her head.

"Do I ever wish what, sweetheart?" he asked softly as they stopped beside the car in the nearly deserted parking lot.

Alina took a breath but kept her eyes on her feet, "Do you ever wish you were still single so that you could chase girls like that?"

Bucky sighed, catching her chin and lifting it so that she was looking up at him, "No, Lina. You know why?" when she shook her head at his question he continued, "Because if you weren't with me here, now, I'd have had to watch you and that lounge lizard get married and I know I'd have punched his teeth in by now." At her happy smile he added, "Besides, I don't think I'd be able to just sit by and watch you kiss another man when I knew I couldn't do this," he leaned down and captured her lips with his, silencing all thoughts on if he wasn't happy with her or not.

After work the next night, Alina had gone grocery shopping then got home, changed quickly into a black cotton skirt, a navy blouse with three-quarter sleeves that tied at the waist and had a yellow dot pattern on it, her navy apron with the blue flowers and her house shoes. She quickly started on dinner knowing that Bucky would be home from work any minute with Steve in tow for dinner. She was excited. Having not seen Steve for nearly two weeks she couldn't wait to share her new sketches with him. The two had bonded at school over their love for drawing and that was how she and Bucky had met. Her friendship with Steve was almost as strong as Bucky's and the fact that she hadn't seen him in so long made her wish they weren't working such long hours.

Hearing the key in the front door lock as she put the steaks on to broil and checked on her corn and potatoes, Alina turned with a smile to greet her best friend and husband home from work.

The sight that met her made her gasp. Both Bucky and Steve were beat up with Steve looking worse for wear than she had ever seen him.

"What happened?" she asked moving quickly to help Steve into a chair before she dashed to the bathroom for the first aid kit she always kept there. When she got back to the kitchen Bucky was calmly taking care of the dinner as Steve sat in silence at the kitchen table. Taking the seat next to him, the curvy redhead took out gauze, iodine and a cloth to wash his knuckles and face.

Once she had cleaned off the worst of the blood from Steve's split lip and bloody nose, she glanced over at Bucky and then looked at Steve again knowing he would tell her the truth while Bucky would try and leave out details, "What happened, Steve?"

The small man looked up at her, "I saw two drugstore cowboys harassing this girl so I asked them to stop. They refused and we took it to the alley." Steve told her wincing as she rubbed the iodine on his split knuckles.

"Did you hit one of them?" she asked studying his hand for any suspected broken bones.

He twisted his lips into a grimace, "Just missed him, hit the wall where his jaw should have been." The small man grumbled.

"Why can't you just walk away?" Bucky spoke up suddenly, turning to glare at his best friend.

"Would you?" Lina asked quickly, moving to make him sit in a kitchen chair as well. At his silence she nodded, "There's your answer, love." She told him before she took her pots off the burners and turned the oven off. Dinner was ready but she wasn't about to serve it before Bucky's knuckles were cleaned and the bruises starting on both men's faces were taken care of.

In the quiet that followed her comment she cleaned Bucky's hand and put iodine on it before she filled two hanky's with some ice and had both men hold one each to their bruised faces, Bucky's was his jaw, Steve's his cheek bone.

Once both men were cleaned up she went about serving up dinner. After they had eaten and Steve had helped Alina with the dishes while Bucky took a call from his boss, Alina sat down on the couch with some sewing, Steve beside her looking over her sketches, and Bucky sitting in the armchair opposite them listening to the radio for any new news from the war front.

The three friends soon fell into talking of old times and the fight was soon forgotten as they laughed over their shared past.

Alina was woken up a few hours later when Bucky picked her up from where she had fallen asleep on Steve's shoulder on the couch. "Where's Steve?" she asked groggily.

"Sent him home in a cab, he's almost as tired as you, sweetheart," Bucky told her softly as he sat her down in the chair in their bedroom and knelt in front of her to take off her shoes.

Alina smiled, tunnelling her fingers through the thick dark hair on top of his head, "I'm glad you're always looking after Steve." She said when he looked up at her.

He grinned and laid his arms the length of her thighs, his hands on her small waist, "I'm glad you're always there to look after the both of us." He murmured as his fingers moved up to unlace the tie around her waist.

Heat building inside her, Alina cupped the side of his face and leaned in, kissing his lips as his fingers moved up to unbutton her blouse and push it off her shoulders. She pulled away and looked him in the eyes, "Promise me you'll come back. Promise, you won't let them kill you over there." She whimpered desperately.

The request was selfish and she knew it but after seeing him bloody and hurt that evening she felt she needed his promise on this.

Bucky searched her eyes for a breath before he crossed the distance between them and kissed her, lifting her into his arms again and taking her to their bed. It was only late that night that she realised he had never promised her he would come back from war.


	6. Chapter 6

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alina asked as she preceded Bucky into their apartment. She had just found out at work, thanks to Lorraine, that the army were calling up their new recruits in a month and that Bucky's name was on the list.

Her husband closed the door behind them and followed her into their bedroom where she was getting changed so that she could start dinner. "What do you want me to say, Lina? They only just told us and the dates haven't been released."

Alina shook her head as she unpinned her black pillbox hat and put it down on her dresser before roughly unbuttoning her orange pleated blouse and dropping it onto the end of their bed. "For goodness sake, Bucky, I've told you before that you don't need to protect me," she turned her back and kicked off her brown heeled oxfords before she unzipped her grey and black flared pencil skirt, stepping out of it and catching up the pink dress with black piping and buttons she had worn the night before.

Bucky caught her elbow and turned her to face him, "And I said to you before, Lina, that I couldn't tell you everything." He glared down at her. "Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I want to stand here and watch you cry because you know I'm gonna be gone in a month?"

Alina lifted a graceful hand to wipe at the tears that she hadn't even realised were sliding silently down her cheeks. She pushed his hand away, "You don't understand…"

He cut her off, "Yeah, I do. You're afraid I won't come home," he leaned down over her, his eyes hurt and fearful, "I'm scared to death that's exactly what's gonna happen."

He turned on his heel and put some space between them and Alina dropped to sit on the edge of their bed as her knees gave way, "Why did you enlist?" she whispered closing her eyes to try and fight her tears even as she felt them slide continuously down her cheeks.

Bucky barked out a humourless laugh and turned to her, she looked up at him, "Because that's what stupid young men do when they don't have someone to rely on them,"

Shaking her head the petite woman glared, "You had your family to rely on you. What do you think your mom is going to do if you don't come back? What about your brother and sisters?" she stood up and pulled on her dress. Moving to walk past him she gasped as he grabbed her arm and pulled her against his chest, his mouth closing over hers in a quick angry kiss.

And then he stepped away and left the room, throwing over his shoulder, "I'm going out for a while."

The sound of the front door slamming shut had her in tears and sliding down the wall to sit on the ground, legs pulled up to her chest. She cried bitterly for the hurt she and the man she loved were going through.

Bucky came home later that night smelling of smoke and beer. He didn't stumble so Alina knew he wasn't drunk and the fact that he walked right up to her and wrapped her in a hug made her want to cry all over again.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," He whispered into her hair, "I won't walk out again, I swear."

She clung to him shaking needing to know that he wouldn't leave again.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He kept murmuring into her hair over and over again, "I promise I won't do that to you again."

Over the next few days he did everything he could to try and make up for leaving her that night. This included a date on the Saturday at Coney Island to see the sights, ride the attractions and eat as much candy floss as she could stomach. Alina chose a blue and white dress with a blue belt around the waist, matching wedges and her best white embroidered cardigan. Her white leather clutch in one hand and her other arm through Bucky's, she pulled him around the amusement park looking at anything and everything. He won her a stuffed bear at the ring-toss and they rode the Ferris wheel three times. That night they had dinner out at a beautiful restaurant overlooking the beach.

With a sigh the petite redhead leaned against Bucky's shoulder after their walk along the pier, "Thank you, Bucky. Today was perfect."

With a playful smile he wrapped his arm around her waist, "Promise me something, Lina." She looked up at him expectantly and he continued, "Next time we fight, you have to take me out." Alina pretended to look affronted and pushed him away before storming off down the pier.

Bucky followed after her laughing and swept her up into his arms, kissing her lightly, "You're pushing your luck, Serge." She said with a smile.

He grinned slyly at her, "Well, Lina. I couldn't very well press my luck with anyone but you, doll."

She laughed out loud at that, "Yeah, anyone else would smack you one if you tried."

He pouted but pulled her closer, "True." He shrugged.

Alina's smile faded a little and she reached up to trace his features with her hand, "I don't want to fight any more, Bucky." She murmured.

His expression became serious, "You know I'll try my hardest not to fight with you but we're both stubborn. You knew that before we got married," he ran his fingers through the hair that she had left loose at the back of her head, "We're gonna fight some of the time."

She smiled, "I know, just not like last time."

He shook his head, his gaze dropping to her lips as he did, "Not like last time." He smirked, the corners of his lips pulling up as he did, "Wanna seal it with a kiss, doll?" he drawled.

Alina laughed prettily at that, "Oh, what a line, Serge." She murmured before pushing up onto tip-toe to kiss him.


	7. Chapter 7

"We're going to be late, Bucky." Alina called from the bedroom as he stood in the bathroom and combed his hair.

"And that would be a bad thing, why?" he mumbled under his breath only to have Alina step up behind him and wrap her arms around his chest, laying her head on his shoulder blade.

"Because you know how mother gets when we're late." She told him before she stepped back and smoothed down her emerald green dress with white piping for the hundredth time.

Bucky rolled his eyes, straightened his tie and grabbed his jacket from the hook on the back of the bathroom door, "You look fine, Lina." He assured her looking over her loving the way her dress hugged her curves.

"Just fine?" Alina asked running to look at herself in the full length mirror in their room.

Her white heels with the strap across the foot looked a little old but weren't scuffed and her white bead, hoop earrings matched her dress. Her red hair was pulled up into victory roles at the front with the rest curled down her back.

Bucky gave her a once over that had her toes curling and a hot blush rushing up to her cheeks, "If you want to be on time I suggest we leave now because I'm about two seconds away from messing up that hair and wrinkling that pretty dress," he told her picking up his black fedora from the dressing table.

Alina moved out of reach quickly and preceded him into the hallway and to the front door where he helped her into her red coat and waited outside the front door for Bucky to lock it and then take her hand, leading her down to their car.

The drive to her parents brown stone was quiet with Alina preparing herself for the visit with her usually overbearing parents, Bucky letting her do so in silence. When they pulled up outside the house he turned to her, "I'm doing this for you but if your Ma says one thing about me going away or you having a job or anything…"

Alina cut him off with a kiss that helped calm her as well as him, "I know." She murmured her hands cradling his cheeks as she looked into his deep blue eyes, "I'll walk out with you."

Bucky took a breath and let it out through his nose as he pressed his forehead to hers, eyes closed, "Okay." He said after a moment, "Let's go."

They parted and got out of the car. Once at the door they rang the bell and the door was opened by her parent's housekeeper who took their coats and Bucky's hat and ushered them into the parlour.

Alina's parents greeted them both and the four of them sat down to talk before dinner was served. After a surprisingly relaxed meal, Alina was taken aside by her mother who led her upstairs to her old room.

"What is it mother?" she asked seeing how worried and tense her mother looked.

The older woman sat them down gracefully on a pair of chairs and took Alina's hand in hers. "I'm worried for you, Alina." The older woman said softly, "I know what you're about to go through with Bucky leaving."

Alina's father had been honourably discharged after the war in 1914. He still walked with a limp on rainy days, a reminder of the bullet he had taken in his leg all those years before.

Stiffening, the small woman tried to pull her hand from her mother's, "If you're about to reprimand me for marrying a man that was enlisted…"

Her mother shook her head, stopping her mid-sentence, "That's not what I was going to say at all. I pray every night that he will come back to you like your father did for me," She took a deep breath, "All I wanted to tell you is that if anything were to happen, you know you will always have a home here. Your father and I will always look after you." She paused looking down at her hands around her only daughter's, "I love you, darling. And I know that doesn't excuse what I've done in the past but I hope that one day you can forgive me."

Alina felt tears pricking the back of her eyes at what her mother had just said. "Mom." She whispered wrapping her arms around the older woman who stiffened before pulling her daughter tighter to her.

By the time the two women came back down the stairs Bucky had been watching the door and half listening to Alina's father talk about his time in the war years before. The dark haired man stood up as soon as he saw Alina's red-rimmed eyes but she just beamed at him and settled down beside him, he hand slipping easily into his as she listened with rapped attention to her father's stories, her mother sitting on her other side.

When they got home later that night, Alina sat up in bed working on a pencil sketch that she refused to show him.

"What did you and your Ma talk about?" Bucky asked her, leaning on one elbow, his free hand on her knee.

Alina put her pencil in her notebook and closed it before looking down at him, admiring his dark hair, tanned skin and blue eyes, "She told me she was sorry for how she acted and that she and Dad will always be there for me, no matter what."

Bucky sat up and studied her, "That's good." He said carefully.

She shook her head, more emotional than she thought she would be, "I'm sorry I keep crying." She sighed before putting her notebook on the bedside table and sliding down to lay beside him before turning to face him.

Bucky smiled and pulled her across the small expanse of mattress between them.

She cuddled into his side and traced patterns into the skin of his chest and collarbone, "Are you going for any more training?" she asked him.

"You're not asking if I'm active duty yet, are you?" he asked with a smirk before rolling her under him.

She raised an eyebrow, "You better not be, Serge." She reached up to tunnel her fingers through his hair as he pressed soft, barely there kisses to her throat, "Let's go dancing next weekend." She murmured.

He grunted, too focused on her pulse point to think of anything else.

"Bucky," she whined pushing at his shoulders until he was looking down at her.

He raised his eyebrows, his lips curling up at the corners with a half-hidden smile. "Sounds good, little girl." He moved his weight so that he was leaning with his forearms on the mattress either side of her shoulders, "Ma wants us over for lunch Sunday afternoon," he added his eyes moving over her face as if he was memorising it.

"Then we'll go dancing Saturday night." Alina nodded.

Bucky smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, "Ok, sweetheart." He said softly before leaning down until their lips were only millimetres away from touching, "But right now, I want to kiss my wife."

Alina smiled and let him do just that.


	8. Chapter 8

"You didn't." Alina gasped to Bucky seeing the sullen look on Steve's face.

Steve glared at his best friend, "He did." He sighed. "What did you tell her about me?"

Bucky grinned wrapping an arm around Alina's waist, "All good things."

She smacked him in the stomach and glared, "What if Steve didn't want to be set up?" she asked him.

He only shrugged, "If it doesn't work, it doesn't work."

Alina huffed a sigh and rolled her eyes at Steve before mouthing 'I'm sorry'. The short man sent her small smile as they walked up to the dance hall.

Bucky waved over at a table of men and women and a perfectly manicured hand lifted in the air.

Alina's heart sank at the sight of the blonde woman standing and moving through the crowd toward them, "Lorraine, really Bucky?" she hissed under her breath seething.

The tall man looked down at her and shrugged, "What? She said she wanted a night out."

Alina shook her head, "I might work with her but I don't need to see her outside of that." She growled.

Bucky sent her a confused look but was distracted as Lorraine placed a hand on his arm in greeting, "Hey, Bucky." She nodded to Alina, "Lina."

The redhead bristled, smiled politely and then turned to Steve, "Do you and Serge want to get us girls a drink?" she asked with a bright but fake smile.

"Sounds like a plan," Steve nodded a little too enthusiastically, probably because he had seen the withering glance Lorraine had sent his way before she had smiled blindingly at Bucky. He turned to his best friend, "Let's let the ladies chat while we get a drink."

Bucky looked a little confused but went along with Steve's suggestion. Once the two men were out of hearing distance, Alina turned to the blonde who was watching her with a calculating gaze. Her smile dropped as soon as they were eye to eye.

"You hurt my friend and you'll have to answer to me, Lorraine." She murmured so that no one would be able to eavesdrop on their conversation.

The taller woman sighed, "That's not much of a threat, darling."

Alina smoothed down the full skirt of her blue dress and took a step closer to the beautiful woman, "How about this, if you hurt Steve in any way I will make sure Cummings walks in on you when you and the printer from the next office over are on your 'breaks' together?"

Lorraine's face darkened in anger, "Little girls who meddle usually lose their husbands to women who deserve them." She snarled.

Alina smiled, "And women who threaten to steel other women's husbands usually get slapped." She stepped back, "Don't be a share crop, darling. It's unbecoming," Her piece said, the small redhead turned on her heel and met Bucky and Steve on their way back with the drinks.

"Where's Lorraine?" Bucky asked.

Alina took her drink from his hand with a grateful smile before she raised her voice so that Lorraine could hear, "She just realised she needs to go home. Something about a curfew," shrugging she caught the relieved and thankful look Steve shot her before he handed of the extra drink in his hand to a passing server.

There was an indignant huff from behind them and Lorraine marched right out the door.

Looked between his pretty little wife and his friend and raised an eyebrow, "How come I have a feeling you had something to do with this, Lina?"

With a shrug she finished the punch in her glass, handed it to a server and pulled Bucky out onto the dance floor. The rest of the night consisted of Alina, Bucky and Steve laughing and talking over punch and Steve refusing to dance with Alina who was then pulled out onto the dance floor again by Bucky.

When the couple got home later that night Bucky swung Alina up into his arms and carried her over the threshold of their bedroom.

"You're crazy," she whispered, her head on his shoulder. Her speech a little slurred from the effects of Bucky's beer which she had tried and declared 'disgusting but still drinkable' and then proceeded to finish off for him.

Shaking his head at his wife's antics, Bucky put her down on the edge of their bed and knelt in front of her to help her off with her dancing shoes.

"I'm not the one that requested every swing dance the band could play and then danced every one of them while I was drunk," he told her helping her undo her slim leather belt so that she could unzip her dress.

Alina pouted, "I'm not drunk." She shook her head emphatically and then groaned, flopping back onto the bed, "Is the room supposed to spin?"

Bucky barked out a laugh, "My wife, the hooch swigging dame."

Alina closed her eyes, "Bucky?"

"Mmhm." He murmured moving to lean over her propped up on his elbows.

She opened bright grey eyes to his vibrant blue, "I'm ossified, aren't I?" She mumbled.

He grinned and pressed a kiss to her lips, "Sure are, sweetheart," he told her.

She reached up and laced her fingers through his hair, "Remind me not to do that again next time." She said leaning up to brush her lips over his jaw.

He grunted and pulled back slightly, one hand dropping to her waist, "Not sure I will. You're easier to get to bed like this," he smirked at the blush that climbed her cheeks at his words, memorising the way it made the freckles across her nose stand out even more.

"My mother was right, you are a bad influence."

His grin spread into a full-blown, toothy smile and he shrugged, "What can I say? You bring out the best in me."

Alina laughed and then pushed him away slightly so they could get changed for bed. When she was curled into his side under the blanket she breathed out a sigh and let herself fall asleep in his arms.


	9. Chapter 9

That Sunday night, Alina dressed in a black and white checked halter dress with sling-back peep-toe pumps and watched from her dressing table as she put the finishing touches to her makeup while Bucky dressed in brown slacks, a white button down and a beige blazer with a red and beige tie.

"When do you think you'll be called to go to the front?" she asked carefully.

Lately whenever she had tried to broach the subject of him going away to war Bucky had become agitated. But they were running out of time. The month was almost up and with a letter still not delivered to tell him exactly when he would be leaving for official training and then shipping off to Europe, Alina felt like she was constantly on edge waiting for her world to turn upside down.

Bucky stopped straightening his tie and leaned his hands on the bathroom sink bowing his head, "Not tonight, Lina. Please." He said tiredly. She knew he hadn't been sleeping well for all the bravado he put on whenever he talked to any of their friends.

She got up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her cheek against his back. There were no words for how she was feeling, how they were both feeling, and so Alina stood quietly holding onto him tightly and fighting off tears she didn't want him to see. The muscles in his back and shoulders slowly loosened until he stood straight and turned in her arms, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"When the letter does come, my last night at home I want to spend with you and Steve," he mumbled into her hair.

Nodding silently, Alina breathed in his scent and then pulled back, lifting her chin to look him in the eyes, "We can go to the Stark Expo." She murmured trying to ignore the fear in his eyes. "You keep saying we should go and see it."

Smiling slightly, Bucky leaned down and pressed a kiss to her mouth before lifting her up into his arms.

She pulled back when he started toward their bed, "We're going to be late to your Ma's," she said softly without any conviction.

His intense look had her swallowing hard and ignoring the time.


	10. Chapter 10

Coming back from work the Monday after dinner with Bucky's family, Alina was pleasantly surprised to find Bucky at home. She stepped up to him and kissed him softly, "Did they let work out early today?" she asked with a smile.

The look on his face told her everything she needed to know and a quick glance at the letter crumpled in his hand had her in tears, "When do you leave?" she asked struggling to keep her voice as steady as possible.

He looked down at her and she saw him carefully hiding away everything he was feeling, "Tomorrow," was his calm reply.

"What?" she gasped a tremor running through her at his words.

He caught her hips and looked her right in the eye, "I'm leaving for England tomorrow morning at seven with the 107th. After that, the Italian Front."

Alina paled at his complete disclosure.

At the shock on her face he cupped her cheek, "You wanted me to be honest," he murmured his voice gentle but his eyes begging her to understand.

She nodded trying to stem the flow of her tears. Once she had them under control she looked up at him with a watery smile, "You wanted to spend your last night at home with Steve and I and we decided to go to the Stark Expo," swallowing hard she nodded to the phone, "Go and call him. I'm sure he's free."

Bucky searched her face and they both ignored the fear he saw there, "Okay," he nodded pressing a kiss to her forehead and leaving the kitchen to use the phone in the hallway.

As soon as he had left the kitchen, Alina sagged against the kitchen counter and pressed a hand to her mouth biting back a cry as she closed her eyes and fought the fear clawing at her throat. Once the tears that still threatened had been brought under control she made herself stand straight and smooth down her skirt with still shaking hands. She looked up when Bucky walked back into the kitchen.

"I told him we'd meet him at the cinema after he sees his film," Bucky told her.

Alina turned with a nod and went about stacking dishes beside the sink.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked stepping up behind her.

She kept her eyes on the dishes in front of her, "These have been piled up here since this morning. I need to wash them and then get ready to leave.

Her husband caught her wrists and pulled her back against his chest, "Leave it, Lina." He murmured into her hair before leading her silently to their bedroom.

After, they shared a shower and quickly dressed, Bucky wearing his dress uniform and Alina wearing a sage green and white stripped sleeveless dress with a thick sash of the same material around the waist, a white cardigan with embroidery at the neckline, sage green and white oxford pumps with a strap buttoned across her foot and her white and gold clutch, the couple went and visited his mother and siblings and then dropped in to see her parents. When both families promised to come to the train station to see Bucky off the next morning, Alina was grateful she wouldn't be alone.

Finally, they made their way to the theatre where Steve had said he was going to see the newest cartoon. Once there, Bucky poked his head into the cinema to see if Steve was inside. When he couldn't find him Alina went up to the cashier.

"Have you seen a young man about my height, slight, a little pale, he went into the cartoon when it first started?" she asked politely.

The man shook his head, "He bought a ticket for the later session but he walked out the back with a guy twice his size a few minutes ago."

Alina sighed, thanked the man and went to tell Bucky what had happened.

Her husband shook his head, "That kid is gonna get himself killed if he's not careful." Taking her hand he led her out the back in time to see Steve collapse from the right hook of a man that was definitely twice his size.

Alina gasped, her hands going to her mouth as Bucky strode over to the guy beating up his best friend and grabbed his arm.

"Hey!" he growled pulling him away.

Alina sidestepped the two and rushed to Steve's side as Bucky dodged a punch from the guy and hit him instead, ending the fight with a kick to the bully's backside as he scuttled away out of the alley.

"Steve, are you alright?" she asked worried.

The small man pulled himself to his feet slowly but stayed hunched over in obvious pain.

"Sometimes I think you like getting punched," Bucky drawled walked back over to his friend and wife.

Alina pulled a handkerchief from her purse and handed it to Steve to dab at his split lip.

"I had him on the ropes," Steve assured them as Bucky, noticing Steve's enlistment form on the ground which must have dropped out of his pocket during the fight, picked up the small piece of paper and opened it, "How many times is this?" he asked.

Alina ignored the twisting of her gut at the thought of not only Bucky leaving but also Steve. As Bucky surveyed the form the small redhead checked the rest of Steve's face for any more cuts and apart from a slight bruise on his cheek and the cut lip, he was going to survive without any other mark until the next time he tried to stand up to a bully.

"Ah, you're from Paramus now?" Bucky read the form. "You know it's illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?" he joked earning a small smile from Alina for his trouble.

Steve finally looked up and his face fell, "You get your orders?"

Bucky waited a beat and then explained, "The 107th. Sergeant James Barnes shipping out for England first thing tomorrow."

Steve nodded and then looked away, "I should be going."

Bucky nodded before smiling to break the tension. He threw an arm around Steve's shoulders, "Come on, man. My last night! Gotta get you cleaned up." He let go of his friend and Alina stepped up to his side, lacing her fingers with his and vowing to enjoy this night as if he wasn't going off to war.

Steve fell into step with them and the three left the alley, "Why? Where we going?" he asked.

Bucky handed him the newspaper he had bought from the kiosk on the corner before they got to the theatre, "The future."

Steve unfolded the paper to see the story on the front about Howard Stark's Expo.

"We're going here?" Steve asked.

With a grin Bucky nodded, "Lina wants to go."

She cut him a look and elbowed him in the ribs, "Don't lie, Serge, you're the one that wants to go and see what it's all about."

His grin widening, he let go of her hand and threw his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side and kissing her temple, "True," he shrugged.

She and Steve shared a long-suffering sigh and then waited as Bucky moved to hail them a cab.

Once there they started to walk through the show grounds looking at all the exhibits. While Bucky and Steve talked about Bucky leaving and his ideas about Steve being the last eligible man in New York, Alina couldn't stop looking around them. There was so much to see from a mono-train suspended from a long track over their heads to fireworks exploding high above them.

She grabbed Bucky's hand and looked up at him and Steve, "Come on," she smiled before pulling them toward the Modern Marvels Pavilion near the middle of the park.

They walked around and Alina couldn't help but smile in wonder. The place was fantastic. Hearing music start to play she looked toward the Pavilion's centre stage.

She looked up at Bucky who shrugged. With a carefree laugh, the small redhead towed him toward the stage, Steve a step behind.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!" a female voice came over the microphone. In the middle of the large stage stood a shiny red car and five women in top hats and tails performed a little introduction turn as Stark made his way onto the stage and handed his hat to one of the women before stealing a kiss from her and taking the microphone from his hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all?" Stark started his presentation.

Alina's attention was pulled from the stage as Steve offered her some of his popcorn. With a grateful smile she took some and then turned back to the stage, leaning back against Bucky as the presentation went on.

Four of the women moved forward and took the wheels from the car to reveal curved metal devices attached to the car's axels in the wheel wells to gasps and sounds of amazement all around.

"With Stark Gravitic Revertion Technology you'll be able to do just that," Stark assured the crowd. He then turned some nobs on a pedestal in front of him and started to push a lever up. The metal devices that replaced the wheels started to glow and then the car rose a half a foot or so into the air.

"Holy cow," Bucky commented as the car floated.

Stark smiled and stepped back from the pedestal.

But then the devices sparked and the light flicked off. The whole car dropped back to the stage causing the crowd to gasp. Alina heard Bucky laugh quietly in the silence that followed.

Trying to salvage the presentation, Stark grinned, "I did say a few years, didn't I?"

At the spattering of applause that followed the end of the demonstration, Bucky turned to where Steve was standing, "Hey, Steve, what do you say we go find Lina some…"

Alina turned when he trailed off to see that Steve had disappeared. "Where did he go?" she asked softly.

Bucky sighed and nodded toward the recruitment poster a yard away, "Where else?"

The couple moved quickly through the crowd to the recruitment building. They saw Steve standing on a small platform which lit up his face and reflected it in a window display of a faceless soldier. He was about five inches too short to fit his face in the picture.

Bucky strode right up to Steve and pushed him jokingly in the shoulder, "Come on. You're kind of missing the point of a fun night out. We're going dancing," he said when Steve had turned to him.

Alina hung back a little letting the two men talk.

"You go ahead, I'll catch up with you," Steve told him and Alina bit her lip worried about him.

Obviously Bucky was too but he wasn't about to hold back in telling his best friend so, "You're really going to do this again?" he asked giving the shorter man a look.

Steve shrugged, "Well, it's a fair, I'm gonna try my luck."

Alina could see that he wasn't going to back down, but neither was Bucky.

"As who, Steve from Ohio?" Bucky snapped. "They'll catch you. Or worse, they'll actually take you."

"Look, I know you don't think I can do this…"

Bucky cut him off ignoring the calming hand Alina lay on his arm, "This isn't a back alley, Steve. It's war."

"I know it's a war," Steve assured him.

"Why are you so keen to fight? There's so many important jobs." Bucky glared.

"What do you want me to do?" Steve asked him, "Collect scrap metal in my little red wagon?"

"Yes, why not?" Bucky asked and Alina heard the fear he was trying to fight.

Steve shook his head, "I'm not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky. Bucky, come on, there are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me."

"Right," Bucky nodded, "Cause you got nothing to prove."

"Enough," Alina spoke up. Stepping forward she pulled Steve into a tight hug, "Go and enlist," she whispered in his ear. Pulling back she looked him in the eyes, "Just remember to say goodbye when they call you up," she smiled.

"Lina…" Bucky started, the anger in his voice plain as day.

She turned to him and put a hand to his chest, "He's got as much right to enlist and fight for his country as you do." She searched his face, "Let him do what he needs to do, Bucky," she told him softly before casting one last smile to Steve and then moving away again to give them room to say goodbye.

Bucky shook his head and started to walk backwards, his eyes on Steve, "Don't do anything stupid till I get back." He warned.

"How can I?" Steve asked him with a hidden smile, "You're taking all the stupid with you."

Bucky smirked and walked back to him, hugging him goodbye, "You're a punk."

"Jerk," Steve murmured hugging him back, smiling over his shoulder at Alina. "Be careful," he added when Bucky stepped away again. As he was walking away, Steve added, "Don't win the war till I get there."

Bucky turned back to him, saluted, and then moved to Alina's side, wrapping his arm around her waist he smiled down at her, "Come on, Lina. They're playing our song."

She smiled up at him and let him lead her from the show grounds. They found a dance hall close by and stayed there until it closed. Bucky requested the band play 'You Made Me Love You' by Harry James and Alina laid her head on his shoulder as they swayed slowly to the soft music, their song. When the dance hall closed, they caught a cab back to their apartment and spent the rest of the night in bed talking, kissing and making love, only falling asleep in the early hours of the morning.

"Alina, baby. Wake up."

The small redhead blinked in the early morning light to see Bucky leaning down over her, once more dressed in his sergeant's uniform freshly shaven, hair still damp from his shower.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as she struggled to fight back tears, "I should have let you sleep," he murmured.

Sitting up, Alina pressed her lips to his before pulling away so that only their foreheads were touching, her hand in his hair, "Promise me you'll be careful," she whimpered her eyes closed as she memorised the feel of him so close, the taste of him, his scent and the sound of his breathing.

"Lina…" he whispered his voice catching but staying steady. He had prepared for this, for her desperation and the fear she couldn't hide no matter how hard she tried. "Lina, I'm gonna fight to come back to you," he promised.

She pulled back slightly and looked up at him before nodding and melting into his embrace.

After that their last morning together sped by. She got up and dressed, not even paying attention to what she put on or what she ate of the breakfast Bucky had prepared for her. Even the cab ride to the station was a blur and it wasn't until the last calls for the soldiers to board the train had started that she finally felt like she could survive Bucky leaving.

He held her until the last whistle for boarding blew and then with one last deep kiss, he let her go and boarded the train. He didn't look back but she watched the train until she couldn't see the last carriage any more.

Silently she caught a cab to work and went through the day numb and quiet. But it was when she got home to their empty silent apartment that she allowed herself to cry.

The next few days passed in a numb haze broken only by Steve's letter saying that he had finally been allowed to enlist and had travelled straight to Camp Lehigh in New Jersey for training. The night she read that letter was one that she spent curled up with Bucky's pillow held close to her chest and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning once she was showered and had eaten breakfast she dressed in a calf length navy skirt, blue long-sleeved blouse, black peep-toe high heels, her red blazer with the gold buttons and embroidered flowers on the collar and pockets, pinned on her black straw hat and grabbed her black purse before walking out of the apartment and catching a cab to work. Once there she walked to Cummings's office. Knocking on the door she heard him call for her to enter.

"Ah, Mrs. Barnes, what can I do for you today?" the slim man asked looking at her over his glasses when she had opened the door.

Alina stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind her. Clasping her hands in front of her she didn't beat around the bush, "Respectfully, sir, I would like to ask for the job as Colonel Phillips' secretary. I know you said you would consider both Lorraine and I for the position but I need that job, sir." She kept her eyes on the window over his left shoulder as she waited for his answer.

Cummings sighed and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes he then looked up at her, "Wouldn't you rather stay at home with your husband and family, Alina?"

The small redhead swallowed and speared him with a determined look, "My husband was called up for active duty and left five days ago, my best friend a day later. I have no children and my family doesn't have a say in this."

With a measured look, the thin man sighed and nodded, "You would have been my first choice if you hadn't been married. But I know that if I don't recommend you for this position you will just go and join the WAC or Army Nurses, won't you?"

Alina took a breath and nodded, "Yes, sir."

With a sad sigh, Cummings leaned back in his chair, "I'll give the Colonel a call now. Take the rest of the day off, go and speak to the rest of your family. If I know Phillips, he'll call you up to Wisconsin for training within the next few days. Go say your goodbyes, Pvt. Barnes, you'll be off to war within the week."

Alina couldn't smile but she did nod gratefully, "Thank you, sir. It has been a privilege working for you," she stepped over to his desk and shook his hand.

With an understanding but resigned look, the older man dismissed her from his office.

"Why were you in there talking to him?" Lorraine was just outside the door when Alina exited the office.

With an emotionless look, the shorter woman stepped around the blonde, "I was resigning," she said before walking from the office building without a backwards glance.

Alina then made her way to first her mother-in-law's house and then to her parents' brown stone. Both explanations were tear-filled and heart-breaking but surprisingly her family seemed to understand her choice and by the same day the next week, Alina was saying goodbye to her parents at the train station and was on her way to Camp McCoy in Wisconsin.


	11. Chapter 11

Training was as gruelling and challenging as she thought it would be but her determination and the letters of encouragement she received from her family and Steve only pushed her to keep going. The fact that Bucky's letters had stopped a few weeks after she had reached Camp McCoy only made her more determined to follow through with her training.

Finally, after almost one and a half months of training, she was sworn into the Women's Army Corps. She met Colonel Philips that afternoon and by that night they were on a plane to the Italian front. Her WAC uniform still felt foreign to her but the sense of pride and strength to do what she needed to that came from wearing the dark khaki jacket, beige blouse, beige skirt, black shined oxfords and dark khaki cap made her feel gratified in a way that had nothing to do with conceit. She was going to be helping to protect her country in some small way and she realised now what pushed Bucky into signing up as soon as Pearl Harbour had been bombed.

Her brown leather satchel had her new credentials in it as well as a notebook and pencil, Colonel Phillips' list of companies that he was in charge of and a collection of letters from Steve and most importantly Bucky. She had also slipped two sealed letters into the bag just before she left Camp McCoy, both were to be posted to Steve and Bucky as soon as the plane landed and she had the time to get to a post office, or the weekly post roundup happened, whichever came first at the base they were headed to in England.

Once there she was trained quickly in what a field secretary was to do and what the protocol was for an ambush on the camp or an airstrike.

With that out of the way she boarded a plane with Colonel Phillips and other personnel and they flew to the Italian front where America had one of its base camps and she met Peggy Carter, an English resistance agent as well as others that were helping with the war effort. The next few months flew by and she kept up with her letters to home as well as to Steve who had now become Captain America. Even seeing all the posters with his face plastered across it she was still amazed by what had happened to him. In his letters he had confided in a code system she, Bucky and he had come up with as children about Doctor Erskine and his Super Soldier serum, his grief at the doctor's death, Phillips's refusal to let him fight, Senator Brandt's idea to make Captain America in Steve's words 'a performing monkey', and Steve's hopes to one day soon join the ranks of American troops at the front line. In turn Alina wrote about her fear for Bucky who was on the front lines and from whom she only received letters sporadically, her life as Phillips' aid and secretary, and the suffering she saw when she volunteered at the medic ward set up on base.

About four months into her service, she finally saw Steve. He had been flown over to Italy as Captain America by Senator Brandt to entertain the soldiers there. Unfortunately his show didn't get off to a very good start. After being pelted with tomatoes and heckled to get the dancing girls back on stage, Steve, in his Captain America suit, left the stage and Alina was called away by an officer at Phillips' orders to go and deliver a message to the relay station a few tents down from the Colonel's centre of command. When she returned it was pouring with rain and when she got into the command tent, her cropped brown WAC jacket, matching skirt and blouse were soaked and her hair was a mess. But it was the sight of Steve standing in front of Colonel Phillips' desk that made her smile until she heard his request.

"I need the casualty list from Azzano," Steve said.

Heart in her throat, Alina listened frozen to the spot.

"You don't get to give me orders, son," Phillips told him but Steve wasn't backing down.

"I just need one name, Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th," he explained.

Phillips pointed at Peggy Carter who stood at Steve's side, "We are gonna have a talk later that you won't enjoy." He told her.

"Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R…" Steve asked.

"I can spell." Phillips interrupted him.

Alina braced herself against one of the tables set up around the room as Phillips stood up and walked to the other side of his desk flicking though papers in his hand, "I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry."

At his words Alina's whole world imploded, "Wh-what?" she gasped out bringing all eyes in the tent onto her.

Steve was in front of her a moment later and she realised she was swaying dangerously on the spot.

"Is she alright?" Peggy asked him.

He pulled the small redhead into a hug and looked between the English woman and the Colonel, "She's Sergeant Barnes' wife," he explained.

"Oh, God," Alina gasped her fingers clutching at Steve's sleeves as her legs almost gave way, everything around her falling away as she felt like she was drowning, crushed under the realisation that Bucky wouldn't be coming back.

"Hey, hey," Steve got her attention bending down to look her dead in the eye as he dropped his voice low so that only she could hear, "He might still be alive," he murmured and Alina focused on the familiarity of his open honest face and gentle eyes while she forced herself to calm down.

After she had nodded in understanding, Steve turned back to Phillips, "What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?" he asked stepping back up to stand in front of Phillips as Peggy helped Alina to a chair and handed her a cup of coffee one officer must have grabbed for her after her near collapse.

"Yeah, it's called 'winning the war'," Phillips snapped.

"But if you know where they are, why not at least…" Steve started only to be cut off by Phillips.

"They're thirty miles behind the lines through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe," the older man circled an area on a map set up on an easel with his finger, "We'd lose more men than we'd save. But I don't expect you to understand that because you are a chorus girl."

Steve's shoulders lifted and he looked Phillips right in the eye, "I think I understand just fine."

"Well, then understand it somewhere else," the Colonel ordered before moving to talk to his officers. "If I understand the posters correctly, you've got somewhere to be in thirty minutes."

Steve studied the map for a moment before moving to help Alina to her feet, "Yes, sir. I do."

The shaking petite woman let him help her to the medical tent where he called a nurse to treat her for shock. As he turned to leave, Alina caught his arm, "Where are you going, Steve?" she asked softly.

He hunkered down in front of her, wrapping the blanket that had been put around her shoulders when she was assigned a cot tighter around her body, "I'm going to get those men back and find out if what they say about Bucky is really true."

Tears welled up in her light blue eyes making them look larger than they actually were, "Promise you'll come back safely," she whispered her hand tightening in the lapel of his damp trench coat.

Steve smiled soothingly, "I'm Captain America now. Of course I'll come back."

Alina nodded and leaned into the kiss he pressed to her temple before he stood and let go of her hand, walking out of the field hospital, Peggy following him.


	12. Chapter 12

Steve was gone for five hours before anyone thought to question Peggy or Howard Stark – who had flown him into Austria in his plane - about his disappearance. By that time Alina had been given a sedative to calm her nerves and sent back to her tent to sleep. When she woke up the next morning Phillips was angry and bit anyone's head off for even the smallest mistake, everyone except Alina for some reason. But that reason became apparent when she heard some of the officers talking about how they had never seen Phillips worried about anyone like he had been when he had gone to check up on her in the infirmary and been told that she was resting. Apparently the older man had a soft spot for her and she wondered if it was because she was a woman or simply because he liked her as a person.

Once she was deemed fit to work she jumped right back in trying to keep her mind off of Steve's disappearance and Bucky's supposed death. Her days were filled with paperwork, typing and volunteering at the field hospital and her nights were spent in her small bunk dreaming of Bucky or tossing and turning until she was exhausted.

A week after Steve had gone to Austria, Alina was transcribing a letter for Phillips to Senator Brandt about Steve disappearing and seeming to be dead.

Once he had finished, Alina stood up and looked at him steadily, "You don't have much hope in those you don't know, do you, sir?" she said her voice tight.

Philips sent her a measured look, "Explain yourself, Private."

Alina stood tall and forced herself not to glare, "Steve is worth two of a lot of the men here. You wouldn't know that because you don't know him." she lifted her chin a little, "You judge men by what you see when you first meet them, why do you think Doctor Erskine chose Steve to become what he is today? It had nothing to do with physical strength and everything to do with his ability to fight for what is right," she grabbed her jacket, "I'm sorry for my forwardness on the subject. I think I'll take a breather, sir, with your permission."

Philips raised an eyebrow at her, "You do that, Private."

Leaving the tent, the small woman smiled at Agent Carter who was walking into the operations centre before she marched over to a large tree, leaning back against the trunk. She ignored the few wolf-whistles and snide comments coming from a limited number of the soldiers milling around and attending to their daily duties. She was used to a few men still thinking women had no place in the army or at the front and she had made sure to slap one of them who had gotten a little handsy when she had first arrived at the base camp.

A call went up from the centuries guarding the barricade just on the edge of the camp and Alina looked over to see if she could work out what was happening. When she couldn't see anything she made her way over near the barricade as it was lifted and a huge group of American soldiers came marching into camp. It took her a few moments to recognise Steve at the column's head and then she saw the man on his left and her heart started to speed up. Smiling she ran toward Bucky, pushing through the applauding men surrounding him and the rescued battalion. She laughed through her tears and threw her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead to his. The rifle he had slung around his chest was between them but that didn't matter, all that mattered was that Bucky was alive and holding her tight in his arms. He smelled of smoke and sweat but he was real and right there wrapped in her arms.

She stepped back, brushing her fingers over his jaw and the small cut under his left eye. There were dark circles under his eyes, he looked pale and exhausted, and there was dried blood on his ear. His woollen shirt was ripped and dirty, as were his pants.

"Bucky," she whispered not knowing if he could hear her over the sounds around them but not caring at the moment.

With shaking fingers he cupped her jaw in one hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist before he caught her lips in a fiery kiss that tasted of relief and desperation. Clinging to him, Alina pulled away and pressed her face to his chest letting go of her tears then.

Bucky stood with her for a moment, silent and a little tense before he looked around them and raised his voice, "Hey! Let's hear it for Captain America!" Alina moved back a little to allow Bucky room to clap before she and Steve helped him to a bed in the infirmary.

Steve was led away to debrief Colonel Philips and Alina cleaned the cut under Bucky's eye and the blood from his ear before getting him to take off his destroyed shirt so that she could check for any other injuries. What she saw made her want to cry all over again. Bucky's torso was covered in bruises in varying degrees of healing. Some looked weeks old while others looked newer.

"Oh, Bucky," she whispered her fingers gently skimming over one of the worst on his ribs on the right side which also looked to be the newest.

Catching her hand he pressed a soft kiss to her palm, "I'm fine, Lina." He murmured.

But when she looked up at his face he looked anything but fine. Shaking her head she pulled her hand from his and made him look at her, "Did…" she bit her lip but made herself ask, "Did they torture you?"

Bucky's jaw worked and he looked away, "Does it matter?"

Carefully, the small redhead sat on the bed beside him and took his hand in hers, "Of course it matters, love. If they hurt you we need to tell a doctor so that he can help."

Bucky scoffed bitterly, his hand closing around hers and getting her to look up into his eyes, "All I need is pain killers, a shower and to sleep beside my wife," he tucked a lock of auburn hair behind her ear that had escaped from her chignon, "Maybe a nap about two weeks long," he shrugged with a grin that worked in getting Alina to smile. "There she is," he murmured running his thumb over her cheek, "I didn't think you smiled without crying anymore."

Alina leaned into his touch and let her eyes slide over his face, "I didn't think I had a reason to anymore," she told him honestly.

Bucky sighed, his lips pressing together but the small upward tilt that the corners of his mouth always had were still there, "I promised you I'd fight to come back to you, didn't I?" he smiled then, "I just needed a little help to do it, that's all," he shrugged playfully.

Her smile widening, Alina pressed her lips to his in a kiss that was soon interrupted by the doctor who checked Bucky out and prescribed him some pain killers and a good night's sleep. Alina thought he needed more than that but didn't argue when Bucky eagerly took his painkillers, a new change of clothes and then caught her hand in his and led her out of the field hospital. She took him to the showers, and then met him outside them once he was finished and dressed in his new uniform again. Seeing how tired he was she led him to her tent only to see two men step out of it, an officer at the flap waiting for her.

"Colonel Philips' orders, Ma'am," The officer said saluting her and Bucky before he turned on his heel and leaving.

Sharing a confused look with Bucky, Alina led him into the tent only to find that her regular bunk had been replaced by a thin mattress in a rough wooden frame that was just big enough for two people.

A letter sat on top of the blanket addressed to her. When she opened it she read the Colonel's block-like handwriting and turned a bright smile onto Bucky, "The bed's for us while we are on base. As of now we are both on leave. There's an aircraft leaving tomorrow to take the wounded and newly rescued men back to England. We've been given seats on it as have Steve and Peggy. We'll have two weeks leave there."

Bucky nodded, "Good," he said pulling the tent flap closed and then closing the small distance between him and his wife. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. They stood together like that for a few minutes before he stepped back and tugged her gently to the bed, "I need sleep," he declared before pulling her down to lay beside him after they had both kicked off their shoes. "And I'm not sleeping alone again," he said holding her tight to his side.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day they flew to England. Her parents, having heard what happened to Bucky through one of her father's contacts from years before, had organised for an apartment to be available for them near where the American and English resistance base was in London. Alina couldn't have been happier but it was Bucky that seemed to be distant. He wasn't sleeping and when he did he was plagued by nightmares. More than once Alina was woken up by his unintelligible mutterings and when the nightmares were really bad he would thrash around and yell out.

The fifth night they had in their apartment was the worst. Alina woke up to Bucky's usual murmurings but when she tried to wake him up he started to yell.

"No! Don't, please! Let me go!" he trailed off into a panting groan and all Alina could do was cradle his face between her hands and call his name gently over and over again until he woke up in a cold sweat.

He pushed her away roughly and threw the sheets off, kicking his legs over the edge of the bed. Holding his head in his hands he sat silently.

Hesitantly, Alina reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder finding his whole body tense and shaking.

"Bucky," she whispered gently, "Sweetheart, talk to me."

He turned and looked at her before moving suddenly to claim her mouth with a searing kiss. Pulling back only to catch a quick breath he pushed her down onto their mattress and hovered over her, his lips finding her throat and pulse point.

The heat rushing through her body at his touch was fogging up her brain but she pushed it a side and flattened her palms against his chest to try and slow things down.

"Lina," he growled catching her wrists and pinning them to the mattress above her.

She turned her head as he leaned down to kiss her again, "Bucky, please. I-I can't do this."

He looked down at her the confusion in his eyes slowly being taken over by anger, "I almost die and you 'can't do this'?" he sneered.

Alina swallowed hard, tears prickling the back of her eyes, this wasn't the man she married, this man was completely different from the one she had said goodbye to at the train station in New York all those months ago. Anger flared at the thought, "What do you want me to do, pretend?" she snapped pushing at his hands but he didn't budge.

"You should do what a wife's supposed to do," he told her his face taking on a blank look that shook her to the core.

Using the self-defence she had learned in basic training, Alina used his inattention and body weight against him, rolling him over swapping their positions. She then pushed away from him and stood up putting distance between them as he sat up on the bed the devastation back on his face.

"Lina…" he tried but she shook her head.

"Just don't," she murmured before she turned and walked out of their bedroom. She went to the lounge and curled up on the small couch, sleeping there until the morning.

When she woke up it was to find that Bucky had not only left her note on the coffee table telling her he was going to meet some of the men from his battalion at the pub down the street but she also realised he had draped a blanket over her while she slept as well.

Still angry at him she got up and dressed and stayed around the house for the rest of the day. But when Bucky still hadn't come home and it was already dark outside she formulated a plan. Dressing in a black wiggle dress with a share blouse-like top, her black high heels, and pearl and gold earrings, Alina did her makeup and styled her hair parting it on the side and curling it beautifully so that it flowed down her back and over one shoulder. Once she was dressed and ready she walked the short distance from their apartment to the pub meeting Peggy who was just leaving the establishment and was dressed in a beautiful red wiggle dress.

"Did you see Bucky in there?" she asked the taller woman.

Peggy smiled, "He's at the back with Captain Rodgers talking about their new special mission unit. I think they're calling it the Howling Commandos."

Alina plastered a smile on her face ignoring the thought of Bucky leaving and what that did to her emotions, "We're going to discuss it tonight I suspect."

"All right then, I suppose I'll see you at the operations base when your leave is finished," Peggy said before turning and walking away from the pub.

Taking a deep breath to settle her thoughts and calm her nerves, the small redhead pushed the door open and walked into the pub. It was full of happy men and women drinking themselves silly and singing to the music being made by a man sitting at a piano. The singing slowly quietened the further she walked into the building and a soft blush heated her cheeks as the eyes of the many men in the pub turned to her. Forcing her chin up, she smiled breathtakingly and glided to the doorway of the back room.

Steve and Bucky were sitting at the bar just near the doorway and each had a glass of alcohol in front of them. Steve was drinking beer but Alina had to hold back a frown at the sight of Bucky's glass full of bourbon.

"Hey, Alina," Steve smiled at her.

The small redhead smiled at him, "Steve." She then looked at Bucky, whose intense eyes swept over her and then caught her gaze, "We need to talk, Bucky," she murmured.

He studied her for a few moments before nodding silently. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and put a few bills down on the bar, "I'll talk to you tomorrow, pal," he said grasping Steve's hand before he offered his arm to his wife.

The couple walked out of the bar and into the cool night. They walked in silence for quite a while, just enjoying the night. As soon as they had left the rowdy bar, Alina had slipped her arm from Bucky's and hesitantly laced her fingers with his, still not sure on his mood. But he had tightened his hand around hers and stepped closer so that they were touching from shoulder to fingers. Still, they walked in silence.

"It's gonna rain, sweetheart," Bucky spoke almost a half an hour later.

Alina smiled up at him and let him turn them around and lead her back to their apartment. About a block away from the building, the rain started. By the time the couple made it to their building, they were both soaked to the skin. As soon as they got inside the apartment, Alina started to pull the pins from her hair, toeing off her shoes by the door. She turned to Bucky and saw his raised eyebrow.

"Thought you wanted to talk," he murmured his gaze sliding over her again.

She couldn't help it, the feel of his eyes on her again; the memory of his hand wrapped around hers had her wanting more. She shook her head and stepped up to him, "Later, love," she murmured before standing on tiptoe and kissing him.

Their clothes were shed quickly and they only made it as far as the couch in the sitting room. After, they lay together on the couch cushions, the throw that had been over the back of the couch draped over their still intertwined bodies.

"I shouldn't have said those things, Lina. I'm sorry," Bucky spoke into the comfortable silence between them.

Never pausing the patterns she was drawing into the skin of his chest, Alina sighed, "I love you, Bucky, but I can't apologise for pushing you away, you scared me."

She looked up at him as he scrubbed a hand over his face, "…What they did to me in that lab…" he broke off shaking his head, his face dark with anger, "I can't talk about it, Lina."

"I'm not asking you to," she said her voice terse as she realised that's what he thought she wanted. Pushing down her anger she looked him in the eyes, "I don't want you to have to relive it if it's not going to help you get over it. But I'm also not going to stand for you lashing out after every nightmare or going to drink the day away either, Bucky."

"Who the hell said I would?" he grit out defensively, glaring at the ceiling above them.

Alina felt her heart break a little and she sagged into him. Whatever they had done to him it had changed him, taken away some of the light in his eyes, the mischief in his smile. Pushing to a seated position she caught up his tan uniform shirt from the floor beside the couch and pulled it on, tucking it around her body.

Bucky's hand was back on his face, this time covering his eyes. He took a breath and then let it drop, sitting up to look at his small wife.

Alina tensed, there was something in his eyes that made her heart contract painfully, a raw fear had entered his gaze and he was so tense he was trembling, "If they come for me you have to promise you'll run. You have to stay safe, Lina. If they got to you…" he cut himself off with a firm shake of his head. "Promise me you'll fight, sweetheart."

Tears slid down her face as she nodded and moved to hold him in her arms, all thoughts about discussing anything were gone. All she needed to do now was hold the man she loved and pray he didn't fall apart in her arms.


	14. Chapter 14

He, Steve and the Howling Commandos were gone a week later. Alina tried to get back into her work but Bucky's words from that night kept swirling around in her head. She wrote to Steve about it but his answer was to take Bucky on more missions which seemed to suit his friend just fine.

Every week a new film reel would be delivered to Philips' office in London and he, Agent Carter, Alina, and a host of aids and other personnel who were cleared to see the footage would sit down and watch in black and white what new mission Captain America and his Howling Commandos were on. It was one of the few times the redhead ever saw Bucky and the fact that he was always grim faced and unsmiling had her worried. Even his letters seemed more reserved and he hardly ever wrote any words of love to her anymore.

Steve on the other hand seemed smitten with Peggy. There was even a shot of his compass in one of the reels that showed he had cut out a picture of her and fitted it into the lid of his compass. Alina had to smile at that and it seemed so did Colonel Philips.

Glad that her friend had found a woman that liked him for who he was regardless of his status as Captain America, Alina looked forward to when he and Bucky would be back in London in two weeks' time. Bucky had promised that after this last mission he would request a few days leave so that the two of them could talk some more about starting a family.

She walked into the London resistance base after a night of nightmares and sleeplessness and was immediately stopped near Colonel Philips' office by Lorraine who had managed to get transferred there a few months before.

Stepping into her path, the blonde looked down at her sadly, "Lina, I'm so sorry."

Confused, Alina looked from her to Philips office to see him talking with someone there that she couldn't quite see. Heart in her throat she dashed past the blonde woman and slammed open the office door to find Steve standing with Philips, eyes red-rimmed, face grave.

"No," she gasped catching herself on the doorpost, "Please, no."

Steve stepped up to her and enveloped her in a tight hug, "I'm so sorry, Alina," he said into her hair, his voice breaking.

Her knees gave way and a soft cry fell from her lips before she burst into tears, sobbing against Steve's broad chest, her world once again falling apart around her.

Colonel Philips ushered them further into the office and moved to leave and give them some privacy.

Through her tears, Alina saw the regret and horror on Lorraine's face from where she stood frozen on the other side of the room just before Philips closed the office door.

Harsh breathing was coming from somewhere and it took a few moments for Alina to realise it was her. She forced herself to stop and then turned watery eyes to Steve to see him staring at their clasped hands on his knee.

"Don't!" she snapped harshly, "Don't you dare think this is your fault."

His blue eyes lifted to hers but she couldn't look at him wanting his face to be Bucky's and instantly feeling sick at the selfish thought.

"I couldn't save him," Steve murmured brokenly. "The handle broke and-…"

Alina shook her head cutting him off; she didn't ever want to hear how it happened, could barely even think let alone focus on not falling to the ground and screaming. She looked him right in the eyes, making sure she didn't look away, "It's not your fault, Steve." She said her hands grasping his tightly. "Do you understand?"

She saw the tears he was trying to keep at bay when he nodded and she leant forward needing his strength and comfort. But, as his arms wrapped around her she didn't know if she could keep going once he left her alone again.


	15. Chapter 15

Walking into work a couple days later had Alina wanting to crawl into bed and sleep for a year. Not only had she not slept the night before but now she was being looked at as if she was crazy for coming back to work so soon or with a pity that cut deep. And so she lifted her chin and stared them down as she walked to the conference table where Steve was sitting with Howard Stark, Peggy, Colonel Philips and the remaining Howling Commandos. She saw the place they had left empty on Steve's right and knew Bucky would have loved to be sitting there.

She started as Steve called her name and then stood offering her the chair Bucky would have sat in. Her heart started to pound and she stared at that chair for the longest time before she looked up at Steve.

"End it. End this pointless war and kill that monster for me, Captain." She said her eyes on his before she turned on her heel and left the room.

She made it to the women's bathroom before she broke down and collapsed in a sobbing mess in a stall. When she had cried until she had no tears left she got up, fixed her hair, splashed water on her face and went back to work.

She said goodbye to Steve and his Commandos the next day and with a heavy heart went back to work.

Then, two weeks later the unthinkable happened. Steve saved America and effectively the world but he put a plane in the water in the process and disappeared with the wreckage.

Alina collapsed on hearing the news and was deemed by army doctors to be suffering from exhaustion and stress. Under her doctor's orders, Colonel Philips dismissed her and she was honourably discharged. She refused to wear her uniform any longer than necessary and changed into civilian clothes as soon as possible. Finding it fitting, she chose a simple black dress with a pleated skirt and bow at the waist, black pumps, a black beret and a black purse completed her outfit. The only jewellery she wore was her wedding and engagement rings.

Her parents met her at the train station and took her to her mother-in-law's flat where she endured a sombre afternoon tea of coffee, cookies and ceaseless tears. When she was finally able to go home she was left in an apartment so quiet she could hear a dog barking down the street and children laughing outside.

And yet she survived. For six months she survived. She even became more like her old self, smiling more, working, going out with friends.

But it was when she went home at night and got ready for bed in silence that she couldn't breathe properly. Even her drawing had stopped. She left everything of Bucky's the way they had been when she got back. It was still too painful to pack things away let alone look at them and so his clothes slowly lost his scent as they hung in the wardrobe, and his personal items stayed where he had left them when he went off to war.

For those six months she was able to keep going until one night, exactly six months after she had returned home.

She readied herself for bed, dressing in a white cotton nightgown with lace at the neckline and hem; it reached her knees and had thin straps. She was woken by a large hand sliding up her leg past her knee. It took a few moments for the haze of sleep to lift and then the memory of Bucky's death flooded her mind and she tensed before rolling away from the hand with a soft cry. Her feet hit the cold floor on the other side of the bed and she pressed her back to the wall beside the bed, dimly aware that it was still night outside as her mind registered the two dark figures standing one beside the closed bedroom window and the other beside the side of the bed where she had been sleeping.

"You look scared, miss," the one beside the bed commented.

His salacious tone was enough to send a shiver down Alina's spine. "Who are you? What do you want?" she asked quickly, her eyes darting between both men.

The one that seemed to be more talkative grinned, "Just wanted to give you tomorrow's headlines." He threw a newspaper onto the rumpled bed sheets and the sight of the headline at the top of the next day's paper had Alina's head spinning: 'Sergeant's Widow Distraught Commits Suicide'.

Her gaze snapped up to the man and then she made her move, her training coming into practice. She darted toward the door and pulled it open only to stumble back at the sight that met her eyes. She opened her mouth to scream, falling back a step. Strong arms wrapped around her roughly and then a needle pricked her arm and her sight started to dim.

"Hail Hydra," her attacker whispered into her ear.

The last thing she saw before she blacked out was Bucky's emotionless face and the metal limb that replaced his left arm.


End file.
